A Missing Ingredient in Modern Medicine

One patient’s story reveals the therapeutic power of human connection.

Posted May 29, 2026 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods

Nowadays, practicing medicine mostly means prescribing medications, blood tests, CT scans, MRIs, etc.…, so, physicians rarely spend quality time with their patients. Yet, actively listening to a patient, understanding the patient’s situation and feelings (the literal meaning of empathy), and making them feel valued can be key components to improving a patient’s health.

When Emily came to me complaining of depression , difficulty falling asleep, and fatigue, the easy way would have been to prescribe an antidepressant and a sleeping pill after a two-minute office visit and send her on her way, but instead, I asked: “What's going on in your life?”

Emily’s response intrigued me: “Part of me is very angry at my being depressed. I have no reason to be depressed anymore. For several years my husband was working long hours, we were fighting all the time, I even threatened to divorce him, but now everything is much better. My husband and I have a great relationship again and yet, I am depressed. This is so infuriating.”

As soon as I heard what Emily said, my brain cells vibrated. I knew I could help Emily, using a two-chair-technique: One chair giving voice to "Angry Emily" and the other chair giving a separate voice to "Depressed Emily".

The 15-minute office visit transformed into a 45-minute one.

When Emily gave voice to her depressed self, she said that she had been put down all her life by her employers and by her husband. She said: “I wish somebody would give me recognition, thank me for my work, thank me for keeping the family together and not give up, but nobody does. I work hard all the time and yet, nobody sees it.”

I added: “Not even yourself. 'Angry Emily' is also putting you down.”

That really hit her hard. She teared up. In a faint voice, she said, “Yes.”

I asked: “If you were to give yourself recognition and rewards for everything you have done in the past years, what would this look like? What rewards would make you happy?”

I had Emily move to yet a 3 rd chair: we called it "Proud Emily". "Proud Emily" said how aware she was of how much work Emily had done, and how much she had to sacrifice to keep her family together. She had finally managed to have a successful life, at work and at home. She deserved to do things for herself she had never done before. But what were those things?

Emily moved to the "Depressed Emily" chair again: “I would love to have a manicure and pedicure. I have always dreamed of one of those. I would love to learn how to sing and maybe go dancing with my husband. I would also love to jog once or twice a week in a local park.”

As "Depressed Emily" was talking, her eyes changed. A bright light replaced her dull eye expression. Emily looked genuinely excited and not tired anymore.

I was excited also. We arranged for Emily to come back one week later for a follow-up to evaluate her depression, insomnia , and fatigue. We also decided Emily would choose three songs she would love to sing and come to the appointment with freshly manicured nails.

After that session, Emily blossomed more every month. Emily started jogging twice a week and singing a new song twice a month. As Emily’s mood improved, she slept better and was less fatigued during the day. The last time I saw her, she was planning to take ballroom dancing lessons with her husband.

This shows how a physician’s empathy can be important for a patient’s health.

Defined as being able to understand patients’ situations, perspectives and feelings, empathy in medicine has been associated with measurable improvements in patients’ outcomes as shown in many published studies.

Among those, a large multisite primary care trial demonstrated that patients reporting the highest clinician empathy had mental health scores 2.4–3.0 points higher and physical health scores 1.9–3.2 points higher compared to those reporting the lowest empathy. [1]

A meta-analysis of 55 studies examining physician empathy in cancer care demonstrated a significant positive association between perceived empathy and patient outcomes. [2]

A systematic review of empathy in general practice similarly found a direct positive effect with reduced anxiety and better clinical outcomes when the provider was perceived as having empathy. [3]

In today’s fast-paced medical system, empathy is often treated as optional. Yet research and patients themselves tell us otherwise. Feeling heard, understood, and valued can profoundly influence patients’ healing because medicine is not only about treating diseases, it is also about caring for human beings.

The Association Between Patient's Experience of Empathy and Self-Reported Health Status in a Large Multisite Primary Care Trial. Patient Education and Counseling. 2025. Mullin DJ, Littenberg B, Rose GL.
The association of physician empathy with cancer patient outcomes: A meta‐analysis. Psycho-Oncology. 2023. Lelorain S, Gehenne L, Christophe V, Duprez C.SR
Effectiveness of Empathy in General Practice: A Systematic Review. The British Journal of General Practice : The Journal of the Royal College of General Practitioners. 2013. Derksen F, Bensing J, Lagro-Janssen A.SR

Share this post Facebook Bluesky Linkedin Email

There was a problem adding your email address. Please try again.

By submitting your information you agree to the Psychology Today Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Chris Gilbert, M.D., Ph.D. , is a physician and writer specializing in holistic, integrative, and mind-body medicine and the author of “The Listening Cure,” 2017 (SelectBooks).

Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.

This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.