7 Steps on the Humble Path
Humility: An honorable path home to ourselves.
Posted April 28, 2025 | Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D.
The importance of humility is reflected in various traditions, including religious, philosophical, and psychological perspectives. However, when humility is designated as a virtue with all of its pious implications, it may disappoint when in search of guidance for a well-lived life. Humility is often misunderstood as false modesty, where our strengths and talents are denied. Or it may be seen as encouraging the endless task of becoming a better person.
Let's get clearer on what humility really means. The word humble comes from “humus, earth, or ground.” Hence, being grounded seems essential concerning humility. One expression of being grounded is allowing our external senses—seeing, smelling, hearing, and touching — to connect with the ground around us. We can also ground ourselves by focusing on internal sensations within the body, such as tightness in the gut or throat or shallow breathing. We are connecting to the body as an expression of the earth. Astrophysicists remind us that the Earth is composed of star dust, as are our bodies. We’re grounded when we move our bodies gently. We are grounded when tears and breath move across the landscape of our faces, with grieving being a strong expression of being grounded. These examples of being grounded support stepping onto the humble path heading home to ourselves.
The first step on this path is to see and accept our limits , neither denying them nor pretending we have more limits than others. This rightful relationship with our limits is an ever-correcting process. Creating ourselves is an organic and ever-changing process, as are our limits. Such is the case with aging, as limits change, requiring an honoring that was not previously needed.
The second step is accepting our imperfection . “Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made” (Immanuel Kant). It can be a major insult to the ego when we acknowledge our imperfections and, therefore, our humanity.
The third step is to be grateful for the gifts that have been given to us . The ego takes pride in claiming credit for skills, talents, and competencies that we were born with. These aptitudes have very little to do with us, other than the responsibility to develop them and serve with them.
The fourth step is accessing the archetype of the Fool. An archetype can be understood as energy bringing form and meaning to our lives. When we access the Fool, we let go of taking our lives too seriously. We learn to gently laugh at ourselves as we strive to make sense of life’s mysteries. We may even view the fumblings of others with kinder eyes. There is a shift from trying to get life right to more receptivity in allowing life to get us right.
The fifth step is a belief in grace . A common theological understanding of grace is the belief that we can be deserving of favorable offerings that are not earned. Grace can interrupt the ego’s alleged authority and prowess to make all good things happen, as grace means we are deserving and what we deserve is unearned.
The sixth step is the willingness to ask for help . The ego enjoys viewing itself as the master of its destiny, not in need of any assistance. Recognizing the need for help and requesting it honors our limits and imperfections, affirming that collaboration is at the heart of the human experience.
The seventh step is simply to continue to let go of humility as a virtue, but rather work with it as a path. We can consider holding humility as an ongoing apprenticeship. We continue to get honest about our current limits, letting go of any leanings toward false modesty and hubris. Life’s seductions will inevitably call us to be smaller or larger than we actually are. There are the promises of love, belonging, prestige, and professional advancement. We may need permission to get seduced and then find our way back to the humble path.
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Paul Dunion, Ed.D., has been in private practice as a psychotherapist and consultant for the past 45 years and has published eight books.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.