6 Strategies for Teaching Emotional Awareness to Children

These methods will help kids understand the "why" behind their feelings.

Posted June 6, 2025 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

Great! Your kid already knows how to name their feelings . But naming feelings is just the first step. The real magic happens when children develop emotional awareness: understanding not just what they're feeling, but why they're feeling it.

By developing emotional awareness, kids can go from saying "I'm mad!" to "I'm feeling mad because I wanted to pour my own milk and you did it for me." This shift from labeling to emotional awareness is where emotional intelligence develops.

How to Teach Emotional Awareness to Children

Here are 6 ways to teach emotional awareness:

Teaching the cause-and-effect relationship

Help children connect events to their emotional responses:

Simple cause-and-effect talks help children understand that emotions happen for a reason, not just out of nowhere. (Note: this is a key lesson for parents to learn as well!) Notice that the observations are phrased as questions, not statements. We can never be sure how another person is feeling unless they tell us. They may communicate this non-verbally, using a nod or a grunt.

It’s important not to make a child responsible for your own feelings. “You yelled, and now I feel angry” isn’t what we’re going for here.

Validating children’s emotions

Validating children’s emotions is a critical strategy for parents; my conversation with Dr. Caroline Fleck shows you exactly how to do it effectively using the Validation Ladder:

Use “I’m feeling…”

Instead of the sentence construct: “Are you upset?” try using “Are you feeling upset?” Kids often think that their feelings last a really long time. One time after my daughter had calmed down from an episode of anger, I asked her: “How long do you think you felt angry?”

She thought she had been angry for hours — actually it was more like 10 minutes. Using “I feel tired” and “Do you feel frustrated?” helps children to see that feelings come and go; they aren’t permanent states. If they just wait a few minutes, a new feeling will come along.

Expanding your emotion vocabulary

Move beyond basic emotion words as children grow. Help them develop more nuanced emotion words:

Studies show that kids who have strong language skills are better at understanding and talking about emotions.

Modeling is a great way to grow this vocabulary. For example: “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed today because we have so many errands to run. That means I have a lot on my mind.”

Print a feelings list and refer to it when a more nuanced word would be helpful.

Creating an emotion-friendly home environment

The best way to help children develop emotional awareness is to create a safe space where they feel okay sharing any feelings. This means:

Meeting your child’s needs

Our emotions are the body and brain’s response to whether our needs are met. When children engage in difficult behaviors, it’s always an attempt to meet a need.

If a child melts down after daycare, they may not be "misbehaving". They might just need comfort, food, or quiet time.

Meeting those needs helps the emotion settle and teaches them that feelings are manageable. That’s why it’s important for parents to know what their kids’ needs might be.

When a child’s needs are consistently met, they develop a sense of emotional security. This secure foundation allows them to explore emotions without fear , because they trust that someone will be there to help them through it.

Teaching emotional awareness takes patience and practice, but the payoff is enormous. When children understand not just what they're feeling but why they're feeling it, they develop the foundation for emotional intelligence that will serve them throughout their lives.

Start with one strategy that feels most natural to you, and gradually incorporate others as they become part of your family's rhythm. Your child's emotional awareness will grow, and so will their ability to handle whatever feelings life brings their way.

Beck, L., Kumschick, I. R., Eid, M., & Klann-Delius, G. (2012). Relationship between language competence and emotional competence in middle childhood. Emotion, 12(3), 503–514. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026320

Lumanlan, J. (2018, January 28). Beyond "You're OK!": Modeling emotion regulation. Your Parenting Mojo.

Lumanlan, J. (n.d.). Identifying your child's wants quiz. Your Parenting Mojo.

Widen, S. C., & Russell, J. A. (2010). Children's scripts for social emotions: causes and consequences are more central than are facial expressions. The British journal of developmental psychology , 28 (Pt 3), 565–581. https://doi.org/10.1348/026151009x457550d

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Jen Lumanlan, M.S., M.Ed., (she/her) obtained a Master's in psychology focused on child development and another in education. She hosts the podcast Your Parenting Mojo.

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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.