5 Reasons Asian American Intergenerational Trauma Is Silent

Shame, saving face, and emotional avoidance may silence the past for Asian Americans.

Posted May 5, 2025 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

"And though my parents took us far away from the site of their grief … certain shadows stretched far, casting a gray stillness over our childhood … hinting at a darkness we did not understand but could always FEEL."

–Thi Bui, Vietnamese American graphic novelist and illustrator

As a psychodynamic therapist and psychiatrist, I have helped many individuals whose suffering had remained unspoken and unconscious for decades—not just their own, but also the deeply buried emotional wounds carried forward from their parents, grandparents, and ancestors.

Asian American intergenerational trauma is a particular kind of suffering—silent, internalized, and often invisible. It does not always present with overt grief or distress. Instead, it may manifest as high-functioning anxiety , an inner voice of relentless criticism, shame , perfectionism , a scarcity mindset, and a chronic sense of disconnection or alienation. People often describe difficulty feeling joy, discomfort with vulnerability, feelings of self-doubt, and a belief that their worth has to be earned. It can show up in subtle ways—as a hesitation to speak up or difficulty with self-compassion or self-acceptance. Beneath these issues is a hidden story—fragmented or silenced—of inherited trauma, shaped by family histories never fully spoken aloud or processed.

The Inheritance of Silence

Trauma is often unnamed , and even minimized or erased, especially in Asian American and immigrant families. The weight of immigration, racism, war, and loss becomes absorbed, passed silently across generations. These experiences of conflict, exclusion, poverty, loss, and scarcity can go unacknowledged for decades.

The “unsymbolized experience”—emotional experiences that have never had a chance to be put into words—means that for many Asian Americans, these experiences accumulate across generations. A parent who endured discrimination may turn to emotional withdrawal or overworking as a coping mechanism, dissociating from their own emotional life. A grandparent who lost family in a war may never speak of it. These are legacies of survival, even stories of resilience and success, but they can take a profound toll on families and relationships.

In therapy, this trauma translates into difficulty accessing one’s emotions, especially grief, anger , vulnerability, and self-compassion. It can surface as chronic anxiety, burnout , and emotional numbness. It can show up as feeling empty or unfulfilled after decades of self-sacrifice or ignoring one's own needs or self-care.

5 Reasons Trauma Stays Silent in Asian American Families

Psychodynamic therapy illuminates and reverses the silencing of intergenerational trauma. Here are five reasons why trauma stays silent in Asian American families:

Toward Healing Through Psychodynamic Therapy

When trauma is unnamed, it cannot be grieved. And when it is not grieved, it continues as a silent undercurrent fueling family conflict, disconnection, depression , and anxiety. Untreated, the cycle continues through generations.

But in psychodynamic psychotherapy , naming these invisible ghosts and understanding our emotional inheritance releases us from the past and old patterns. You do not have to carry these burdens alone and have the opportunity to move from emotional survival to emotional freedom, transforming these ghosts to ancestors.

Bith-Melander P, Chowdhury N, Jindal C, Efird JT. Trauma Affecting Asian-Pacific Islanders in the San Francisco Bay Area. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2017 Sep 12;14(9):1053. doi: 10.3390/ijerph14091053. PMID: 28895918; PMCID: PMC5615590.

Cai J, Lee RM. Intergenerational Communication about Historical Trauma in Asian American Families. Advers Resil Sci. 2022;3(3):233–245. doi: 10.1007/s42844-022-00064-y. Epub 2022 Jun 7. PMID: 35692379; PMCID: PMC9170877.

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Marlynn Wei, M.D., J.D., is a board-certified Harvard and Yale-trained psychiatrist and therapist in New York City.

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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.