45 Breakup Strategies: How Most People End Relationships

The most and least popular ways couples end relationships.

Posted March 27, 2026 | Reviewed by Davia Sills

New research reveals 45 breakup strategies and ranks the most- and least-preferred ways people end romantic relationships . Here, I explain what they are and why they matter.

The paper, authored by Apostolou and Kagialis, was published recently in Personality and Individual Differences.

Study 1: Identifying Breakup Behaviors

Sample: 228 Greek-speaking individuals (122 women), with an average age of 30 for women and 31 for men. Around 55 percent were currently in a romantic relationship.

Methods: Participants responded to the prompt: “For various reasons, you are not happy with your romantic relationship. Write down a few actions you would take to end this relationship.”

Results : Researchers identified 45 distinct breakup acts.

Study 2: Rating the Breakup Acts

Sample: 392 Greek-speaking participants (185 women). Women averaged 34 years old; men averaged 38. About 41 percent were single.

Methods: Participants evaluated the 45 breakup acts by rating how likely they would be to use each one in an unsatisfactory relationship.

Results : Researchers grouped the breakup behaviors into nine core “breakup strategies” (i.e., common ways people break up) and further classified them into three overarching types.

Based on the results, the following nine breakup strategies represent the most common ways people end relationships. (Note: Representative participant responses are shown with minor edits for clarity and conciseness. Meaning was not altered.)

Nine Breakup Strategies Identified

Being Cold and Distant

These individuals relied on emotional withdrawal and passive cues to end the relationship:

We Would Be Better Off Going Our Separate Ways

This direct and honest approach focuses on acceptance and moving forward. Examples include:

Seeing You as a Friend

This gentler method reframes the relationship as a friendship :

Avoiding Face-to-Face

These breakups used indirect communication—text, phone, or third parties:

Explaining the Reasons

These types of breakups often involve:

Some individuals cut off all contact abruptly and with no explanation:

Some individuals took responsibility to soften the emotional blow:

Some participants ended things by revealing cheating or a new romantic interest:

Non-final breakups involved creating space to reflect before making a permanent decision:

Most and Least Preferred Breakup Strategies

Most Preferred Strategy: “Soften the Blow”

Results show the most preferred strategy was softening the blow. This strategy involves explaining the breakup, taking responsibility, and framing it as mutually beneficial. It aims to reduce emotional harm by offering closure and empathy. Research suggests it may have evolutionary roots; for example, women may have historically used this approach to minimize the risk of retaliation from male partners.

Second Preferred: “Take a Break”

This method suggests a temporary pause rather than a definitive ending. It can help partners clarify their feelings, such as distinguishing between romance and friendship. However, it may also create uncertainty and may not align with the other partner’s wishes.

Least Preferred: “Avoid Confrontation”

This includes strategies like ghosting or emotional withdrawal. These approaches may reflect modern relational dynamics shaped by urban lifestyles, digital communication, and shifting social norms. Though convenient, they can be insensitive and hurtful.

Dark Triad and Breakup Styles

The study also revealed that high Machiavellianism , one of the Dark Triad traits, is linked to a preference for emotionally distant strategies. And high psychopathy is associated with manipulativeness and a tendency to place blame on one’s partner.

These findings are generally consistent with previous research on how people with Dark Triad traits break up .

Practical Implications

People often use breakup strategies to minimize conflict and emotional harm.

This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.