4 Keys to Being a Great First Date
Dress for success, but be prepared to be judged on emotion.
Posted December 15, 2025 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
For the time invested in selecting that perfect outfit for a first date, emotion plays a larger role in attraction . That includes behaving in ways that elicit positive emotion in a potential partner, making them feel good about themselves. With that in mind, the first way to be a dynamite first date is to dress for success but endear with emotion.
Attired With Emotional Appeal
Shlomo Hareli et al. (2025) looked at the ways in which attire, as a status signal, interacts with emotional expressions to create first impressions between men and women. [i] In one study, they showed participants photos of other individuals wearing either casual or formal business or party clothes with their faces blurred. In a second study, they showed the faces, combined with expressions of anger , sadness, and neutrality. They found that although attire consistently created inferences about status, dominance, and affiliation across contexts and genders, it was expressed emotion that had a greater impact on participant judgments. Hareli et al. suggest that when emotional information is available, it is more heavily weighted than stereotypical associations with gender or formal dress, because, unlike attire, emotions provide a glimpse into someone’s momentary state of mind.
Accordingly, here are four ideas about how to be emotionally attractive on a first date, no matter what you wear.
Use these four emotionally appealing, authentic strategies on a first date and prepare to decide whether to accept an offer of a second. Slow and steady wins the race and cultivates healthy relationships.
Facebook image: PeopleImages/Shutterstock
[i] Hareli, Shlomo, Yaniv Hanoch, Shimon Elkabetz, and Ursula Hess. “Dressed Emotions: How Attire and Emotion Expressions Influence First Impressions.” Journal of Nonverbal Behavior 49, no. 2 (2025): 249–269.
[ii] Eckstein, Monika, Gabriela Stößel, Martin Fungisai Gerchen, Edda Bilek, Peter Kirsch, and Beate Ditzen. “Neural Responses to Instructed Positive Couple Interaction: An FMRI Study on Compliment Sharing.” Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience 18, no. 1 (2023).
[iii] Hoffmann, Alexandra, Sabrina Schiestl, Philipp Sinske, Matthias Gondan, Pierre Sachse, and Thomas Maran. “Sharing and Receiving Eye-Contact Predicts Mate Choice after a 5-Minute Conversation: Evidence from a Speed-Dating Study.” Archives of Sexual Behavio r 53, no. 3 (2024): 959–968.
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Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D., is a career trial attorney, behavioral analyst, author of Why Bad Looks Good , Red Flags , and co-author of the revised New York Times bestseller Reading People .
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.