4 Fundamental Changes That Drive a Child's Adolescence
Staying connected to your teenager can become more challenging at times.
Posted December 30, 2024 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
For many parents, their daughter or son’s entry into adolescence can bring some sense of loss because the coming-of-age passage has now begun. Best for them to accept it: they will never have their daughter or son as a cozy little child again.
Of course, no love is lost, but to some degree the more aloof and independent adolescent is never going to feel as close as was the more affectionate and dependent child.
“We felt so intimate with our child, and now it’s less!” For many parents, the change from having a child to having a teenager can periodically feel more challenging on four developmental counts.
Four adolescent changes
Why? Consider four kinds of growing changes now going on.
Parent self-management
Effective parental management of an adolescent has to do with the mature management of themselves. For example:
For the young person and parent, adolescence is not for the faint of heart. Nor is this life-changing transformation something to dread. Adolescence isn’t a miserable time; it’s a magical time. It is why I have written posts, columns, parenting books, and novels about it: to celebrate the coming-of-age passage.
Why celebrate this challenging time? Because, I believe, it is an honor to participate in their teenager’s growth, to be part of her or his coming-of-age passage. Now parents have the chance to help a young girl develop into a young woman, or to help a young boy grow into a young man.
What is a more rewarding opportunity than this?
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Carl Pickhardt Ph.D. is a psychologist in private counseling and public lecturing practice in Austin, Texas. His latest book is Holding On While Letting Go: Parenting Your Child Through the Four Freedoms of Adolescence.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.