3 Ways to Build Resilience and Navigate the Unexpected
To manage life's challenges, focus on controllables and develop your resources.
Updated June 3, 2026 | Reviewed by Margaret Foley
Resiliency isn’t a fixed trait or a one-and-done thing. It’s about how we bounce back from adversity and build a comeback, but also about how we can set ourselves up to make sure we’re well-resourced and well-equipped to be able to navigate whatever comes our way.
I recently had a conversation with Mandy Gill on my podcast, Resiliency Redefined , about the realities of resilience . Mandy is a sought-after keynote speaker, ultra-endurance athlete , former broadcaster, and the author of Reset with Resilience .
Throughout our conversation, there was a consistent reminder about how resilience shows up in both the everyday and the unexpected.
Reframe Setbacks as Opportunities
Setbacks are an inevitable part of life. Regardless of how much control we think we have, adversity finds its way in. Life’s interruptions, whether it’s losing a job and facing the uncertainty of a new direction, being overlooked for a promotion, a project falling through, or the end of a relationship, can feel like roadblocks. They can make our world stand still. They can also reveal strengths we didn’t know we had and become turning points for growth, reinvention, and self-discovery.
So often, when something doesn’t go the way we hoped it would, we "should" on ourselves: I should have known better. I should have seen this coming. But that way of thinking just keeps us stuck. Instead, we can meet that part of us that’s hurting with compassion. It also helps to remember that adversity is part of our story, but it’s not the whole story. These events are not characteristics of who we are.
From there, a powerful shift can happen when we move from “Why did this happen to me?” to “What’s my next right step?” or “What can I learn from this?” This reframe doesn’t take away the hurt or erase the difficulty, but it does open a doorway forward. Acceptance doesn’t mean we like, want, support, or would choose what we are going through, but it is about working within our controllables. (I shared how the practice of acceptance can help us get unstuck in a previous post .) Sometimes setbacks are actually setups for a big, bright future that we didn’t even know was possible. Is there an example of a setback from your own life that eventually led to growth, change, or an unexpected opportunity?
Lean on an Authentic Community
When we’re at a crossroads, navigating something challenging, or carrying something heavy, it’s not always easy to see our own potential or know what comes next.
Having an inner circle or community of people who remind us of our skills, talents, and gifts and support us through transitions is invaluable. They can help reflect back our strengths and dreams and encourage us to take leaps and make bold moves we might not attempt otherwise.
When our belief wavers, we can borrow their trusted perspectives, their hope, their courage, and their confidence that we will find a way through. Even small acts of encouragement and support can expand our capacity to persist.
There’s also beauty in celebrating and cheering each other on out loud. It builds this energy that lifts everyone higher and helps us see new possibilities.
After all, we’re not meant to do any of this alone.
Who are the people you know you can lean on for support?
Nurture Yourself With Intentional Daily Habits
Our days are the building blocks of our lives. It's the habits and routines we design for ourselves that nurture and ground us, that create our foundation.
There’s something transformative about approaching each day with a clear sense of intention and crafting habits and rituals that keep us aligned with our values, support our well-being, and leave us feeling well-resourced enough to navigate whatever comes our way. I often say that it’s what we do in the ordinary that sets us up to do the extraordinary when called upon.
Here are a few ideas to keep in mind as you build a morning routine or ritual that sets you up for success:
What’s one small habit or ritual that could give you the energy and calm you need to feel well-resourced to handle whatever the day brings?
Each of us will inevitably face challenges, setbacks, and seasons of uncertainty. Resilience is not about avoiding the hard parts; it’s about trusting that we can navigate both the ordinary demands and the unexpected turns. By reframing setbacks as opportunities, leaning on supportive communities, and honouring the habits that sustain us, we can begin to redefine what resilience can look like in our own lives.
And as Mandy Gill reminded me in our conversation, “Your best is more than enough.” I wholeheartedly believe we are all doing the best we can with the tools, energy, and resources we have in the moment. Using this as an anchor when self-doubt creeps in can remind us to approach each day with compassion for ourselves and confidence in our capacity to find a way through.
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Robyne Hanley-Dafoe, Ed.D. , is a multi-award-winning author, resiliency scholar, and speaker. She is the author of the award-winning Calm Within the Storm and Stress Wisely .
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.