2 Steps Toward Wholeness
Personal Perspective: Both darkness and light foster wholeness.
Posted May 19, 2026 | Reviewed by Margaret Foley
I have appreciated the thinking that the psyche has two purposes: survival and wholeness. The former needs no explanation, but wholeness can easily fall into an unnamed abstraction. One consideration when exploring wholeness is to view life from the perspectives of darkness and light. The mythologist Michael Meade asks, “Are you adequately darkened ?” I offer the question, “Are you adequately lightened ?” Our inquiry examines what it means to be “adequately darkened” and “adequately lightened.”
An individual could be darkened or adequately darkened. If you are simply darkened, it likely means that you don’t carry enough light in order to carry the darkness without shame , cynicism , guilt , aggression , or contempt. Some expressions of darkness include loss, trauma , defeat, insecurity, betrayal, isolation, and melancholy. Adequately darkened also entails doing the work necessary to hold the darkness as not simply unfortunate, but also as a significant expression of real life. We then allow the darkness to bring attention to what truly matters in life. Here are some of the benefits of being adequately darkened.
As mentioned earlier, the dark and light are in a mutually supportive relationship. However, we can deny darkness or be overwhelmed by it. When we deny it, we remain naïve, innocent, and ignorant of life's true nature. It means remaining childlike with a measure of arrested development. People who remain inadequately lightened often maintain a family vow to see life as only absolutely wonderful. Someone likely denied and feared the darkness and passed the fear on as a legacy.
Or, we get overwhelmed by darkness, resulting in living with remorse, cynicism, a loss of faith, bitterness, and either aggression or excessive passivity. When adequately lightened, darkness has been addressed, and the light is celebrated. Some examples of light include a success, being loved, a felt sense of belonging, a fulfilling spiritual experience, the birth of a child, receiving an award or some form of positive acknowledgement, and experiencing some form of healing. Here are some of the benefits of being adequately lightened.
The more we do our work with darkness, the more we can trust our light as genuine. There’s a palpable maturity in those on the path to wholeness. They are easily touched and moved, which are mini celebrations of life.
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Paul Dunion, Ed.D., has been in private practice as a psychotherapist and consultant for the past 45 years and has published eight books.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.