10 Things That Could Make You a Better Parent
Ten things every parent needs to know to raise happy, healthy kids.
Posted January 26, 2026 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
As a seasoned child therapist—and a father of two—I’ve found that these 10 strategies help parents raise happy, confident, and emotionally secure kids.
That said, none of us parents are perfect . We won’t and can’t do all of these 10 things all the time. And some of the 10 items below may not feel natural or comfortable for you, and that’s OK too. We only have to be a good-enough parent.
1. Say yes as often as you can
Saying yes to your child means loosening the reins and indulging them a little. It means being as flexible as you can while still setting clear limits as you normally would. For instance, let them make a fort from blankets, pillows, and couch cushions, knowing this will create more work for you, cleaning up later. Let them paint their bike. Let them invent a cookie recipe which you help them make and bake, knowing it will likely be barely edible.
When we say yes, we’re really saying, “What you want is important to me. You are important to me.”
Ultimately, saying yes builds a child’s self-esteem and self-worth.
2. Talk first to the emotions, then the intellect
When your 5-year-old asks, “What happens to Grandma now that she died?” hold off on explaining about death, funerals, the circle of life, heaven, etc. Yes, the question sounds intellectual, but so often kids are really trying to express emotions. In this case, first invite your child to talk about how they feel about Grandma’s death.
If your child has trouble identifying or expressing their feelings, you can try naming what you suspect your child might feel.
After you’ve attended to the emotions, then see if your child wants to talk about their initial, intellectual-sounding question.
3. Play with your kid like a kid, and let them lead
Get down on the floor and play. Laugh. Be silly. Stop worrying about making sense. Stop trying to teach.
As easy as this sounds, for many parents, this is actually really difficult. Just do your best!
Try to follow your kid’s lead: let them tell you how to play. Let them be the boss. They know it’s just play, that they’re not really the boss, but it’s enough for them to feel empowered for a little while.
In the end, it’s about connecting with your child at their level. It’s important bonding time. And it sends the message, “You’re important. I like being with you. You’re worthwhile and lovable.”
Like playing with your child, using humor creates an atmosphere that feels safe, warm, affectionate, and relaxed. Humor sends the message that the world isn’t such a huge, scary, intense place.
Research has also shown that humor can improve the relationship between child and parent. Just be sure your humor doesn’t hurt, shame , or embarrass your child.
5. Name your own emotions
When kids express themselves, their challenging behaviors tend to decrease or disappear. But they can’t express their feelings until they can first identify how they feel.
When, for example, you tell your child that you felt sad and a little worried for a friend who lost their job—and grateful , too, that you have a good, secure job—you’re not just modeling expressing feelings, you’re educating your child about emotions. You’re building their emotional intelligence .
6. Have family dinner every night
Research shows that eating dinner together as a family is a major indicator of a child’s social-emotional health, and that family meals increase a child’s self-esteem and school success.
Sharing food and time together sends the basic message that you love and care about your child.
7. Pay attention to the feelings that your kid’s behavior provokes in you
When your child acts out and provokes feelings in you , these feelings are likely the same ones your child is struggling with. By identifying these feelings you’re having, you gain insight into what’s going on inside your child.
When you understand how your child is feeling, you’re less likely to overreact to their challenging behavior.
8. Speak first to feelings, then the behavior
Parents are often very good at talking about a child’s challenging behaviors. But when we start with this, we’re not addressing the roots of the behavior: the child’s feelings.
Often, the point of a child’s acting out is to express feelings. When we speak to the feelings , we’re letting our child know that we heard them, and that we understand. They will then be more inclined to listen when we talk about their behavior.
This might sound like, “I know you’re mad that we’re not going to the toy store. You were looking forward to that, and it’s got to feel really frustrating that I’m making the decision not to go. I get that. But it is not OK to call me names because you’re mad.”
9. Always remember: young kids feel small and powerless
Underscoring most of a young child’s emotions is the sense of being small and powerless. These feelings often prompt other, secondary feelings— anger , sadness, helplessness, fear , etc.
Understanding this universal experience of being small and powerless will help you make sense of your child so that you can better connect with and speak to their core feelings.
We all screw up. It’s normal. And it gives us the chance to reconnect and repair our relationship with our child.
Repairing is more than apologizing. It must start with 1) acknowledging the feelings our child had as a result of our actions. Then comes 2) the apology . Lastly, we need to 3) describe how we’re trying to do better.
Keep in mind that repairing isn’t a time to also criticize the child’s behavior that may have prompted our poor behavior.
A repair might sound like, “When I screamed at you, I know you felt scared. You probably felt I was so angry that I didn’t love you. But I can be super angry, and my love for you will never go away. It’s always there, even when I’m mad. I’m so sorry I lost my cool. I’m really working on that and trying to control my anger.”
Facebook image: PeopleImages/Shutterstock
This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.